To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize