Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
