Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
