i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
