I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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