hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
