quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
