C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
