woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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