Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
