Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Two words: nipple clamps
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