belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
