Non-Jews are for practice
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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