just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
