Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
