Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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