Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
