He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
