Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
