If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
