we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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