does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
