You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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