I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I am one with the molecules
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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