it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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