that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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