So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
