Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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