haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
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