i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
