Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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