You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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