i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize