last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
