Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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