I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
