Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
