i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We were destined to go to rehab together
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
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