Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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