thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize