Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
