ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
