Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize