He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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