if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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