She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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