Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
