I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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