In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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