I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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