AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
