Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
