Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
