EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
