this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
