Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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