If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize