i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
