i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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