Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
