Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
