I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
