Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
