My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
