honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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