im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
