I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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