I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
