The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i think my cat just said my name.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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