Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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