Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Oh god it's open bar.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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