don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
