So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
