I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
