i would punch a child for taco bell
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
