I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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