its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
