you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
