69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
